WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Duckman is the USA Network's completely irreverent Saturday night cartoon, based on the adventures of a lewd, sordid private investigator who also happens to be a short (vertically impaired), yellow (visible minority) duck. If you don't know it, imagine in your mind's ear George Costanza ("Seinfeld") with an edge - Jason Alexander plays both roles. The show's creators have set up a flashy little multimedia Web site, full of rude sound clips, odd videos, and selected musings of the characters appearing on the show. The site is a mock-up of Duckman's office, letting websurfers peruse his Rolodex, his girlie calendar, and sidekick Cornfed Pig's phone messages. Lots o' fun. Leave good taste at home. "http://www.duckman.com/"
Speaking of which, you know that Jerry Seinfeld plays Jerry Seinfeld on the eponymous TV show. And you might also know that George Costanza is based on Jerry's pal and producer Larry David. You may have even seen a little newspaper article a few months back talking about the real Soup Guy (he doesn't like being called a Nazi). But we bet you didn't know there's a real Kramer. Cosmo Kramer is based on Kenny Kramer, who claims he hasn't spasmed since the ninth grade. His home page features his tour of Seinfeld sights in New York, behind the scenes pics, and an interview with Larry David. Hit the "Ask Kramer" column for a few cheap giggles. "http://www.bway.net~kramer/home.html"
MR. EDIBLE STARCHY TUBER HEAD HOME PAGE
Play the game and design your own Mr. ESTH. See his unpublicized TV and movie cameos. Check out his arch-rival, Mr. Edible Fiberous Stalk Head. Wonder at the wonderful animations. Marvel at the marvelous Potatoe Cam. Shiver at the multilingual worst nightmare. But most of all, don't whine to us about the spelling in this article. "http://winnie.acsu.buffalo.edu/potatoe/"
Besides "creating environmental art for the purposes of world peace and planetary healing", the Geo Group also performs a "passing over and clearing process", a housekeeping service to rid your abode of any undead infestations. Such entities can have detrimental, succubus-like effects on the average homeowner, so the Geo Group's Special Ghost Task Force will come into your home like gangbusters - or rather, ghostbusters, zapping everything in sight with great dripping gobs of positive energy, all the while tastefully redecorating your home in more environmentally friendly earth tones. If it seems as though the spirits are roughing up your home, or if life simply isn't weird enough as is, look up the Geo Group. They'll believe you. "http://www.geo.org/"
Infested by incubi? Spooked by sprites? Victimized by vampires? Hillhouse Investigations is a paranormal investigation firm that goes by the solemn motto, "Remember: If you believe, then we believe!" This is a truly entertaining Web site, full of the metaphysical and inexplicable: cattle mutilations; psychic attacks; vampirism; and that scourge of scourges, evil clowns. Fear not, for Hillhouse Investigations handles all the above and more, quite handily. The only thing is that if one were to visit the Hillhouse offices in person, you'd see irony and sarcasm rather than ectoplasmic goo dripping in great gobs off the walls. "http://ic.net/~dunstan/hh.htm"
The real world of spy versus spy, corporate espionage, counter-intelligence, surveillance, and ultra-high tech detection systems can be found at the Spy Zone. The majority of the site is open to the general public but parts are restricted to authorized law enforcement personnel. Ooooh. The site designer must have been shooting for a stealth effect since the site has so many black and other obfuscatory backgrounds. One of the more intriguing devices, the miniature remote control submarine, was not available for viewing. "http://www.spyzone.com/"
Chock full of intrigue, drama, and romance, the three staff and six residents of the fictional Ferndale compose daily journals, photos and audio to reconstruct their lives for an avid voyeuristic audience. Privacy is nonexisistent, and we get to follow episodes such as the temporarily transvestite Jack's blind date with a lesbian; Cathy, who dreams of disease symptoms that become real, and her coma drama; and all that unlikely stuff that true soaps are made of. The characters seem to welcome suggestions about their lives. It's kind of a "The Spot" that pushes the envelope a little wider. Frothy, addictive, and confusingly realistic. "http://www.ferndale.com/"
Soap opera addicts, prepare to rejoice. Yes, it's yet another Web soap opera! Techno 3 features gorgeous gals (described in purple prose as "three lovely ladies") who share a horrific secret. Although each lovely lady leads a seemingly normal life in daylight, each night their lives change as they are ruled by a "diabolical cyber terrorist". Watch your blood pressure as you learn that the ladies have met: will they reveal their dreadful secrets? You can read through past soapy episodes and catch up on the latest and greatest Techno 3 antics... if you dare. "http://www.bluepearl.com/entertainment/soap/techno3text.html"
CLICK HERE TO CRACK DOWN ON CRIME
You may not find Dirty Harry here - or a professional Web designer - but Clint Eastwood's character would surely approve of Law Enforcement Sites on the Web. Links to a fraud warning from the FBI, legal and court sites, hoax warnings, job opportunities, and memorial sites for fallen officers will help steer you in the right direction. The dark background is unappealing, and a greater variety of links would be in order, but the site is updated frequently. Police departments with Web access, as well as would-be cadets, will want to return to this collection again and again as the Web tries to catch up with bad guys. "http://www.ih2000.net/ira/ira.htm"
Life changes all of us, and Roland Johnson III is not immune. In fact, you might say he embraces change - and talks about it. After hitch-hiking over 20,000 miles across the U.S. and Canada, he eventually became a sociology professor at a small college in Texas. His page, The Asphalt Philosopher, is filled with his thoughtful essays on life, marriage, and postmodernism. "http://PersonalWebs.myriad.net/Roland/"
Golf Magazine steps up to the batter's box - oops, we mean putting green. Golf Online features instructional articles and information on resorts, equipment, and lessons. You can read about Alan Shepard's golf shots on the moon or fill out a form to get "private lessons", really feedback on your problems. There's also a contest entitled the Great White Shark Hunt (hosted by Greg Norman), that will make you familiar with all the site's nooks and bunkers. "http://www.golfonline.com/"
Interviews with artists, record label pages and order information, music and video clips, a global jazz poll, and more are available at the Jazz Central Station. The site is a well designed presentation of N2K in New York City. A half-dozen recording companies are represented with products and ordering info. Their Music Boulevard has over 100,000 CDs and tapes you can order. A must for Jazz lovers. "http://jazzcentralstation.com/"
Guy Kawasaki is a Mac guru well known for his print books and columns. He also distributes the Macway digest, a.k.a. the EvangeList, an e-mail list of Mac info and affirmations. One EvangeLista recently noted that the Netizen (a HotWired baby) was holding a poll on politics with an extra question asking for computer platform preference, and suggested that the others on the list all vote. The final tally came in at Macs 80%; PCs 16%; and other 3%. The e-zine reported the results as PCs 48%; Macs 44%; and other 8%; the numbers before what they claimed was an error: "We were unable to determine the validity of the Mac-PC answers.... It seemed much more likely that an as yet undetermined engineering glitch (or a sophisticated hack) had defaulted answers to 'Mac' on that question." Yeah, a glitch named "Guy". Read the Netizen's article, too. Macway: evangelist@macway.com Article: "http://www.hotwired.com/netizenpoll/96/08/poll.results2a/index.html" Poll: "http://www.hotwired.com/netizenpoll/"
Visit here for a list of hotels for computer nerds and Net freaks who can't get away even on holiday. This is a useful reference for traveling laptop users who must go online for work or play. An excellent idea that's highly overdue, this provides a form for your suggestions of good hotels, room and call prices, access, ease, and any other comments. It's perfect for overseas travelers. The list will be compiled soon into a great database for that "quick e-mail check before dinner, darling." "http://www.sfu.ca/~okrauth/survey.html"
This site is actually an adjunct to a weekly Bay Area TV series of the same name. It's updated as a new show airs each Sunday. Descriptive text and a few pics help bring the atmosphere of each getaway to your monitor, and the bits of hard data - costs, places to stay, eats - somewhat alleviate the feeling that you'd be planning these vacations entirely in the dark. The "Trail Head" link is a bulletin board for posting e-mail commentary or information, and of course there's an index of past work. One thing puzzled us, though. When we visited, the site featured Hawaii. They must define "backroads" somewhat loosely. "http://www.kron.com/bab/"
You've seen "King Kong", "Jaws", "E.T.", and "Ghostbusters", right? Now visit the Web site devoted to the theme park where blockbusters keep drawing crowds. Whether you're planning a trip to Orlando or not, check out these pages. Kids will like the movie clips, and parents will go for the calendar of events and the opportunity to order tickets in advance. You can even "Meet the Chefs" before you chow down. Glossaries and background on artificial weather effects will get you up to speed for backlot tours. Don't miss "Directors' Tricks" for surprising trivia on how directors have motivated famous actors in a production pinch. Good flicks never die, they just get repackaged. "http://www.usf.com/"
ON THE EIGHTH DAY, HE MADE HIS WEBSITE
You knew it was only a matter of time before the Pope got wired. Unlike the Vatican itself, the Web site appears to be in its infancy. The site offers transcripts in seven languages of a few (very few) of the Holy Father's speeches, and news releases from the Holy See. For now, that's it, though we like being able to see just who he's meeting with. We can think of lotsa cool stuff - a form-based cyber-confessional comes to mind. Undoubtedly, the Vatican site will grow richer in content with time, but for now it's one for the life list: hit it so you can say you went, and move on. "http://www.vatican.va/"
If you're in the mood for a brief stop at an exotic locale, try Images of Uzbekistan. There are only six images, but the text is kind of cheeky and the .wav audio clips are lightly amusing. You'll be in and out within ten minutes. The experience is akin to swapping travel tales with a stranger while waiting for the bus. It passes the time. "http://www.webcorp.com/images/uzbek.htm"
We're part of it, and proud. Now you can be, too. Awarded by Pointless Communications. "http://www.silcom.com/~tonkin/pointless/"
RAWALPINDI CHRZASZCZBRZMIWTRZCINBRZUSZNY
Now known as Reed H. A. Scarabee, he writes occasionally about current events. We were primarily attracted by the bizarre ethnicity of the name, and why and how he went about changing it. "http://members.aol.com/rscarabee/"
TenantNet, for residential tenants, deals mostly with New York State, but includes information forother states and countries. If you have trouble with your landlord, check it out. "http://tenant.blythe.org/TenantNet/" E-mail: tenant@tenant.blythe.org
Wondering what those weird, wonderful fruit in your grocery store are? This page covers them all, from moya to banana to breadfruit and back to moya again. Netscape 2.0ed to death, too! "http://www.aloha.com/~ritt/"
Jake Bernstein's FuturesWeb is full of solid advice on trading, commodities, and futures. There's a free market report uploaded every Monday, to boot. "http://www.trade-futures.com/"
GUIDE TO GLOBAL BUSINESS SITES
Worldclass offers link-by-link commentary on what it considers the top 500 sites dealing with global enterprise. The site highlights the best, and provides some relevant news. "http://web.idirect.com/~tiger/"
HOW TO FIND A GOOD CHIMNEY SWEEP
Boy, this can keep you awake at night! Need to find a sweep who won't scam you? This is the place. Lots (or should that be "logs") of great fireplace info, too. "http://www.homesafe.com/fireside/fireside.htm"
We like CDnow. They use RealAudio to sell CDs. That's not new, but these people put entire albums on the site. In fact, this article was written while Satchmo sang "Mack the Knife" in the background. Cool. "http://interjuke.com/jukebox/"
PERSONAL WEB SITE TOOLKIT PROVIDES SOPHISTICATED VISITOR MANAGEMENT
This commercial UNIX product, just recently announced by W3.COM, boasts some very impressive features for managing and tracking user visits to Web sites. A short list includes click counting, automatic creation of registration pages, "click-stream" analysis, recent visitor displays, average time spent per page reports, and much, much more. The package appears very sophisticated and is fully compatible with all Web servers. There's even an Oracle-compatible version for heavy duty database needs. The package is bundled with a set of useful utilities which automate interactions with databases, forms handling, multi-page updating, and creating HTML pages on the fly. The kit will set you back a whopping $5,000. Professional webmasters should definitely take a look. "http://w3.com/"
NEW INTEGRATED JAVA DEVELOPMENT TOOLS FOR UNIX
TakeFive Software has recently announced Sniff+, a fully integrated software development environment for the Java language. Authoring in C and C++ is also supported. You get the whole package of compiler, interpreter, debugger, and documentation editor, coupled with the expected project management and editing tools. The software runs on UNIX platforms. Price is around $3,000, and an extensive feature description is available at the site. "http://www.takefive.com/"
VOXWARE INTRODUCES NEW SOUND PLAYER AND AUTHORING TOOL
The package of player and authoring tool, both free for the moment, can be used to stream speech out to Web sites at up to 53:1 compression ratios (18 kB per minute of speech). Any Web server can take advantage of this capability by using MIME types to send out .vox files that are picked up by the player. This alternative to other audio products out there is specifically optimized for speech. Many more details at the Netscape 2.0ed web site. "http://www.voxware.com/"
TCPSPEED WIN 95 UTILITY MEASURES YOUR REAL BANDWIDTH
TcpSpeed, from Maximized Software, lets you measure the bandwidth of your Internet connection. It measures the number of bytes which can be sent over your connection in a given amount of time. The authors claim it's especially useful for measuring the connection to your local access provider. Incidentally, the company has a number of other neat freeware and commercial products worth a look. "http://maximized.com/"
Hey, Macolytes: two pieces of beta news. One, Netscape has just released the first beta of Netscape Navigator 2.0 with Java capabilities for Power Macs, called MacJava 2.0b1. Second, a beta of Open Transport 1.1 - you know, the one that won't crash Netscape - is available from Apple. Netscape: "http://home.netscape.com/" Open Transport: "http://www.info.apple.com/ftp.newfiles.html"
We covered this so long ago, we couldn't remember what the heck it was. It's a thing where you can read the e-mail of two female correspondents. Want more info? Check "Participate in Fictional Story" in the May 21, 1995 NSD. Here's the new URL: "http://www.actual-reality.co.uk/abroad/abroad.htm"
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